May 11
BD Friday
Time seems to be flying lately. I think of things in the future and start planning for them, but then realize, “hey, that’s in a month and a half. SLOW YOUR ROLL. you have all the time in the world.” After that, I usually chill out a bit. And then, before I know it, that thing that was SO FAR AWAY is 3 days away and HOLY CRAP I AM UNPREPARED.
This happens all the time with weddings. I somehow manage to forget that they’re happening until the week of, and then I don’t have anything to wear AND their registry is all picked over and there’s nothing left and then we’re the douches giving a card with a check. There’s nothing worse than being those douches giving a card with a check. Pete doesn’t have a problem with it. I fucking hate it.
Anyway, my point is that life’s too short, babe, time is flying because LOOK! It’s another Friday and time for yet another adorable picture of my dog. I know. You are SO EXCITED. And here I am, trying to get new pictures of her on a regular basis that aren’t the same as the other pictures I’ve posted because that would get boring. But, while Princess Consuela Bonniehammock is adorable damn near all the time, she doesn’t really do much other than lie around and sometimes sit or stand and give us deep knowing looks. Whatever. Still cute. Enjoy.
See? Lying around, being cute, giving us looks like “why the fuck is that damned camera out AGAIN? point your phone elsewhere, stalker.” And I’m all, “But BonBon, looook at your little paws and how they’re all bent around funny and they’re so little and so cute and I just want to smoosh your face.” So she lets me take a picture, and then demands I smoosh her face. She loves face smooshing.
Have a good weekend, kids. A dear friend will be in town for deep dish and a 5K (and lots of face smooshing) and I’m thrilled about it. Woo!
May 09
Marriage and Civil Unions and Stupidity
Yesterday, another state in the United States passed another constitutional amendment confirming the already-existing inability of people to enter into marriages which are not “between one man and one woman.” Before yesterday, men could not marry men in North Carolina, nor could women marry women. The now-amended state constitution changed nothing. First cousins over the age of 16 can get married in North Carolina.
There is no reason whatsoever to not allow two consenting adults to enter into a contractual relationship which is recognized by the state and given certain benefits. As long as the state recognizes that such relationships exist, the state cannot discriminate against who may enter into it.
No church has ever been forced to marry anyone its faith is opposed to. I couldn’t have been married in a Catholic church: I am not Catholic, my husband is not Catholic, and we have no intention of ever raising any Catholic children. No priest could ever have been forced to marry us. Even if we were Catholic and wanted a whole houseful of Catholic babies, no priest could ever have been forced to marry us. Any Baptist church, Lutheran church, Methodist church, Orthodox church, synagogue, or mosque would have been able to refuse to marry us as well. Sun Myung Moon could refuse to marry us in a mass marriage or otherwise. Each faith determines who is able to enter into a marriage which is sanctioned by their religion, and who is not able to enter into a marriage because the religion does not sanction it. The fears that churches will have to marry gay and lesbian couples are completely unfounded.
Tradition is the dumbest excuse for these hate-mongering denials of civil rights to Americans.
Traditionally, marriage was determined by the couple’s parents for political or monetary gain. Marriage was not for love. If we want to be traditional, marriages must have parental permission and provide dowries. Everybody who wants a state-sanctioned union may enter into a civil union. I’ll take one.
Traditionally, marriage is a religious union between two people of that faith in God’s eyes. In that case, marriage is a purely religious institution with no state recognition. To be traditional, marriages may only be performed by religious institutions, not judges or friends who were ordained on the internet. Everybody who wants a state-sanctioned union may enter into a civil union. I’ll take one.
Traditionally, marriage is for the production of non-bastard children. People who are unable or unwilling to procreate may not have a marriage. For the purposes of this, there is no fertile octogenarian. Marriage is only for people who are ready, willing, and able to make children. Everybody who wants a state-sanctioned union may enter into a civil union. I’ll take one.
Many countries require a civil union at a courthouse or similar governmental building to have a marriage be recognized by the state. If you want God to also recognize the relationship, you do so separately in a church, often on another day.
A marriage, for the purposes of state recognition, is a contractual relationship between two people. The state then gives married people certain benefits and obligations. As a contractual relationship, it must be entered into without coercion by people who are able to consent to it. The state may choose to not recognize unions between more than two people, perhaps. But it may not choose to discriminate based on the race, religion, or gender of the people involved.
This is what happens when we cut funding for education and the arts. People grow up stupid and intolerant and try to deny civil rights to a minority group based on a majority vote. It makes me hate this country. It makes me hate fellow citizens. I know it won’t last. But it fucking sucks that it’s happening.
May 08
Smash Recap: Previews
Last time: the Bombshell cast and crew are in Boston getting ready for their out-of-town previews, Dev proposed to Karen and she was shocked and didn’t have an answer so then they had a big fight about him kissing RJ, Derek slept with Uma and Ivy heard it happen, Michael Swift is back in the show playing DiMaggio (his replacement’s left and gone away, hey, hey, hey), and then Ivy and Dev met each other in a bar and started drinking together. EW.
It is the penultimate episode of the season. Time for all the loose ends to start getting tied up while leaving enough mystery to convince the audience to watch next week and be interested enough to watch again next season. Fun.
Naturally, Ivy and Dev couldn’t just drink together. They both obviously knew who the other is, and obviously fell into bed. Because there is no conflict on Smash that isn’t entirely about sex. For a show that’s all about sex, you’d think the sex parts could be more interesting, but nooooo. They both promise to tell no one. Cute. We all know that isn’t going to work and we don’t care.
Blammo, time for previews! Julia gets to the theater with her husband and kid, and immediately Michael Swift’s cab pulls up. They all turn and stare at him and it’s silly. Julia is LIVID at Tom for letting Michael back in the show. She says, “I am not speaking with you,” and the entire audience (and Tom) all went “Dude, Julia, nobody talks like that. You are not talking to him, duh.”
The preview goes fantastically. The audience LOVES the show, it loves the music, it loves Uma. They’re applauding wildly throughout the whole thing. We learn that yes, that number Tom stepped in for with the boys in the locker room IS done with boys in towels but as far as we saw they took out all the rip-off-the-towels-and-wiggle-your-hips moves. Boo. We get to see a new number from Ivy and Karen (with the rest of the female ensemble backing them up) about the casting couch. It was cute but, like all the numbers of that ilk, merely served to remind the audience that although Katharine McPhee seems lovely and can sing pretty darn well, she is no Megan Hilty. McPhee’s dancing is passable, her acting is .. less so, but still passable, and she has little-to-no stage presence. Hilty sings and dances and acts circles around her. As she should. It just makes the whole thing where everybody falls all over themselves for Karen’s awesomeness less believable.
And then… Bombshell falls the fuck apart. You guys. They ended the show with Marilyn’s suicide. With her alone on her bed, overdosing, and dying. Alone. Dead. SUICIDE. She doesn’t get to float up to heaven to be joined by a heavenly host of other dead people. There’s no number with the ensemble all in their Marilyn drag about how Marilyn will live forever because people are freaking obsessed with her and won’t let her go. She just dies alone on her bed, sadly, and then it’s time for the curtain call. Obviously the preview audience didn’t applaud. They didn’t know that was the end. What freaking musical ends on a quiet lonely nonmusical suicide?
Tom and Julia have to fix the ending. Somehow they’re all surprised that the audience didn’t clap for the dying part. They didn’t even give her a superangsty suicide song like Javert or Judas. Ugh. But Julia isn’t speaking with Tom and Tom knows that Julia isn’t talking to him. So they break up for a while. Luckily, Sam wants to go to church and wants Tom to go with him anyway because church is important to Sam. Sam schemes to get the entire ensemble and Tom and Julia at church. For some of them it’s easy (Karen, who is from Iowa, exclaims, “I *love* church!” Of course you do, dearie) and others a bit harder, but it works out. Soooo all the NYC Jews and White Yuppies pop over to Sam’s gospel baptist church where they all sit in the front row for an interesting cultural experience. Sam sings with the gospel choir, and OF COURSE he invites Karen up to sing too, and OF COURSE they love her because she has soul, duh. And then Tom and Julia apologize. He was right, by the way. She chose to fuck everything up and then wanted the show to suffer because she finally came to her right mind. Whatever.
Karen wants Dev to re-propose but the ring is missing and he thinks he left it in Ivy’s room though she claims to have looked and not found it. Ivy called out Derek for fucking Uma and Derek was like “dude. I’m the director, she’s the star. she needed me to give her confidence and take care of her. you understand. we’re professionals. the show must go on. that’s why we work so well together.” Um.. yeah.
Uma drank peanut in her smoothie and nobody knows who put it in there but Uma doesn’t care who did it, she knew it was there and drank it anyway and ended up in the hospital from anaphylaxis. It was dramatic so they cancelled a few previews and then she’s okay but she doesn’t want to do the show so she’s dropping out and who cares. Karen, from Iowa, apparently doesn’t understand how 911 or cell phones work. She was there while Uma started choking (even though Uma had JUST put her phone down and Karen had her own phone in her pocket), and Karen started just yelling down the empty hallway, “HEY! Somebody! Call someone! Help?”
Next time, on the season finale: Will it be Karen or Ivy??? Nobody knows. Ivy knows the entire show. Karen’s the understudy. WHO WILL BE THE GIRL? Who cares? And we find out just what Ellis is up to, supposedly. It’s taken too long to get that answer. I’ve stopped caring why he’s a crazy shadeball and started assuming he’s just a random villain for no reason. That’s good enough for me.
